Delta Airlines Hates Me

I live in Minnesota so that means I fly Northwest Airlines 99.9% of the time. This week, my travels took me to Vermont to attend some training in the area of voice overs (there will be another post about this so stay tuned).

Well it's like this. Delta Airlines bought Northwest Airlines, so now I will be flying Delta 99.9% of the time (even though the plane might still say Northwest on the side of it).

My first Delta experience made me miss NWA badly! Here's why, in no particular order:

1. Online check-in doesn't work. I went to NWA.com because you're supposed to check in using the carrier with whom you booked the ticket in the first place. When I put in my confirmation #, NWA.com sent me to Delta.com. When I went to Delta.com the same thing happened ... I was advised to go to NWA.com. Three rounds of this and I quit. I called both airlines and was assured it was just a glitch. Very convenient. I hope the systems inside their planes don't work like this.

2. Airport check-in doesn't work. I went to the only ticket counter at my airport (NWA) and the agent had all kinds of trouble getting my boarding passes to surface. As I went through each city on the 3 leg segment of my journey - same story. My ticket had to be manually entered while I endured the glares of my fellow passengers.

3. To get from Minnesota to Vermont, Delta thinks they send you to Atlanta first. Pffffffffft. Hello? Detroit anyone?

4. No status, no upgrades, no love. Because of items 1 & 2, this "Elite Status Member" had to sit in seat 39E. On Northwest, I'd earned my way to getting exit-row seats, aisle seats, bulkhead, and even the occasional upgrade to first class. Not with Delta. They have demoted me to the same stature as a granny in sweats who flies exactly 1 time every 3 years. On my first flight they found it appropriate to put me in a center seat in what was one of the last rows on the plane. The area reeked of "bathroom aroma". The man to my right (window seat F) decided it would be cool to read the magazines and books in my seat pocket. The ones I'd just removed from my bag and placed there. He'd grab them while I was getting a little shut eye and when I awakened, he'd be sitting there reading away. I finally drew the line when he put his paws on my personal planner. OMG

The woman to my left (aisle seat D) was nice. She was the last one to board the flight so she was what stood between me and my dream of having an empty seat between book stealer and me. Oh well. She sat down and went over the arm rest rules with me. She would be completely occupying the one on the aisle and she wanted me to feel as though the one next to her was mine, except if she nodded off and wasn't aware of where she put herself. She didn't advise on the armrest between me & book stealer but if I'd have asked she would've provided her thoughts.

I figure that I paid for my seat and half of each of the arm rests I touch. It can be a front/back of the arm rest kind of arrangement or a "you take the whole thing the first half and I'll take it the second half" kind of deal. Whatever the case may be, I want my rented portion of the armrest to use as I please. She also would bump me when I was sleeping, but that was the least of my worries. I had bathroom stench going up my nostrils and people reading my books without permission.

I swear the seats are closer to one another on Delta than they are on NWA too. I could've performed dental work on the man in front of me if I'd only had some instruments.

5. They show reruns of everybody loves Raymond on TVs that don't have the horizontal hold adjusted quite right. If you want to hear the reruns, it's $2 for a headset. I think you get to keep it though.

6. They make an absolute PRODUCTION out of overhead bin storage. There are a hierarchy of rules and steps that one must follow to store their bag and those in violation are subject to a loud recap of the instructions by the flight attendant. On NWA people just figure it out on their own and calmly take their seats.

7. Delta boards in zones, NWA boards via the ole fashioned cattle call. Delta's Zone 1, 2, 3 idea makes no sense because you still have an assigned seat! And the zones are not based on seat location. All it meant to me was that being in Zone 2, I could sit in my crappy seat even longer if I wanted to. WTF? This could be related to their overhead bin storage issues too. Next they'll zone those out as well.

8. They go up & down the aisles while you're TRYING to get a moment's rest carrying on about Sky Miles and Delta Credit cards. They also tried to sell me a "Mile High Mojito" for $7. I saw one, it didn't even have any mint leaves in it. Next they'll have merchandise from the SkyMall catalog in rolling cases and they'll push that up & down the walkway. Tacky!

I'm sorry Delta, but you're pretty much a flying Wal-Mart.