3 Days, 21 Hours and 14 Minutes

Until the first Boston Red Sox Spring Training Game!

Silver Dollar Giver

One of my best friends in the world sent me a little story in an email the other day. It was the nicest emails I've ever gotten in my life. Certainly the nicest one of 2009 so far.

The story was of 2 young boys, one a little older than the other. They were walking along a dirt road in the early 1900s. They came upon an old coat and a pair of very worn shoes. They saw a man working by himself in a distant field. The younger boy thought it would be funny to hide the man's items and watch from a hidden location while he searched for them.

The older boy thought better of this and suggested they each place a silver dollar in the man's shoes and watch from a hidden location for his reaction when he found them. They boys went with this plan.

The man finished his work and returned to change from his work boots into his shoes and coat. When he put his foot in the first shoe he found the dollar and was amazed. He looked around but saw no one. He put his foot in the other shoe and found the second dollar. He held the dollars in his hands and thanked God above for these blessings. The man said that his wife was ill and he hadn't enough money to feed his children, so these dollars were a true gift. The boys watched and listened to exactly what their good deeds had meant.

My friend sent this as a video clip and a note was included in the message. It said, "I perceive you to be a silver dollar giver."

I send and receive a lot of funny emails, but every so often one comes across your desk that is serious, striking, and lasting. This was definitely one of those. Thanks unnamed friend!

The coolest thing I saw in 2008

I was driving from Miami on US-1 to Key West. There are several spans of smaller bridges that run parallel to US-1. One of those bridges has the most amazing TREE growing right on it.

There in the middle of all that asphalt and concrete is a beautiful tree -- just growing out over all that water. I've never seen anything like it before. It was so alone and out of place, yet so healthy and present.

Honey

In the wake of the terror surrounding peanut butter, I've started eating a little honey now & then ... and guess what? I LOVE IT! I used to eat it as a kid at my Grandma's house, but my taste for honey has tapered off over the years.

I'm happy to report that I've gotten myself some fresh honey in one of those cute little honey bear squeezie containers so I'm good to go.

At the risk of sounding like the shrimp guy in Forrest Gump, but you can do a lot with honey. You can:

Have it in tea
Put it on chicken nuggets
Mix it with BBQ sauce
Drizzle it on ice cream
Put it on toast
Put it on bagels
Eat it on a spoon
Eat it with your finger
Mix it with mustard
Make glaze out of it
Mix it with salad dressing

... You get the idea. Mmmmm honey.

Great Words

There are some really cool words out there that you just don't hear everyday. I've started a list in hopes of keeping them around a little longer:

1. poppycock
2. mollycoddled
3. mish-mash
4. kitty wompass
5. persnickety
6. caterwaul
7. rigamarole
8. tomfoolery
9. cahoots
10. hankering
11. bamboozled
12. rabblerouser
13. gumption
14. twitterpated
15. boondogle
16. skedaddle
17. nincompoop
18. shenanigans
19. clammoring
20. namby pampy
21. what not
22. malarky
23. smarmy
24. jocularity
25. hootenanny
26. hullabaloo
27. conundrum
28. cantankerous
29. reckon
30. smorgasboard
31. brouhaha
32. wonky
33. lackadaisical

What to do if you miss your flight:

I love this!

I'm now a professional Voice Over Artist

This weekend was another life list item crossed off for me! I went to a place in Vermont called Such A Voice and completed an intensive training course and cut a demo to become a voice over artist. I've done some work in this area informally, but this was about me learning how to be REALLY GOOD at it and eventually using my newly developed talents as a means to generate income.

The course was GREAT and the other people in the class were really cool. I highly recommend this experience to anyone looking to break into the biz.

What's a voice over artist, you ask? Well this should explain it:

Delta Airlines Hates Me

I live in Minnesota so that means I fly Northwest Airlines 99.9% of the time. This week, my travels took me to Vermont to attend some training in the area of voice overs (there will be another post about this so stay tuned).

Well it's like this. Delta Airlines bought Northwest Airlines, so now I will be flying Delta 99.9% of the time (even though the plane might still say Northwest on the side of it).

My first Delta experience made me miss NWA badly! Here's why, in no particular order:

1. Online check-in doesn't work. I went to NWA.com because you're supposed to check in using the carrier with whom you booked the ticket in the first place. When I put in my confirmation #, NWA.com sent me to Delta.com. When I went to Delta.com the same thing happened ... I was advised to go to NWA.com. Three rounds of this and I quit. I called both airlines and was assured it was just a glitch. Very convenient. I hope the systems inside their planes don't work like this.

2. Airport check-in doesn't work. I went to the only ticket counter at my airport (NWA) and the agent had all kinds of trouble getting my boarding passes to surface. As I went through each city on the 3 leg segment of my journey - same story. My ticket had to be manually entered while I endured the glares of my fellow passengers.

3. To get from Minnesota to Vermont, Delta thinks they send you to Atlanta first. Pffffffffft. Hello? Detroit anyone?

4. No status, no upgrades, no love. Because of items 1 & 2, this "Elite Status Member" had to sit in seat 39E. On Northwest, I'd earned my way to getting exit-row seats, aisle seats, bulkhead, and even the occasional upgrade to first class. Not with Delta. They have demoted me to the same stature as a granny in sweats who flies exactly 1 time every 3 years. On my first flight they found it appropriate to put me in a center seat in what was one of the last rows on the plane. The area reeked of "bathroom aroma". The man to my right (window seat F) decided it would be cool to read the magazines and books in my seat pocket. The ones I'd just removed from my bag and placed there. He'd grab them while I was getting a little shut eye and when I awakened, he'd be sitting there reading away. I finally drew the line when he put his paws on my personal planner. OMG

The woman to my left (aisle seat D) was nice. She was the last one to board the flight so she was what stood between me and my dream of having an empty seat between book stealer and me. Oh well. She sat down and went over the arm rest rules with me. She would be completely occupying the one on the aisle and she wanted me to feel as though the one next to her was mine, except if she nodded off and wasn't aware of where she put herself. She didn't advise on the armrest between me & book stealer but if I'd have asked she would've provided her thoughts.

I figure that I paid for my seat and half of each of the arm rests I touch. It can be a front/back of the arm rest kind of arrangement or a "you take the whole thing the first half and I'll take it the second half" kind of deal. Whatever the case may be, I want my rented portion of the armrest to use as I please. She also would bump me when I was sleeping, but that was the least of my worries. I had bathroom stench going up my nostrils and people reading my books without permission.

I swear the seats are closer to one another on Delta than they are on NWA too. I could've performed dental work on the man in front of me if I'd only had some instruments.

5. They show reruns of everybody loves Raymond on TVs that don't have the horizontal hold adjusted quite right. If you want to hear the reruns, it's $2 for a headset. I think you get to keep it though.

6. They make an absolute PRODUCTION out of overhead bin storage. There are a hierarchy of rules and steps that one must follow to store their bag and those in violation are subject to a loud recap of the instructions by the flight attendant. On NWA people just figure it out on their own and calmly take their seats.

7. Delta boards in zones, NWA boards via the ole fashioned cattle call. Delta's Zone 1, 2, 3 idea makes no sense because you still have an assigned seat! And the zones are not based on seat location. All it meant to me was that being in Zone 2, I could sit in my crappy seat even longer if I wanted to. WTF? This could be related to their overhead bin storage issues too. Next they'll zone those out as well.

8. They go up & down the aisles while you're TRYING to get a moment's rest carrying on about Sky Miles and Delta Credit cards. They also tried to sell me a "Mile High Mojito" for $7. I saw one, it didn't even have any mint leaves in it. Next they'll have merchandise from the SkyMall catalog in rolling cases and they'll push that up & down the walkway. Tacky!

I'm sorry Delta, but you're pretty much a flying Wal-Mart.

Dollar Store Surprise!

Today I went to the Dollar Tree to load up on batteries, party paper plates, legal pads, and greeting cards. You can save a bundle by purchasing these items for $1 and no one's the wiser. Well, I guess no one WAS the wiser but now I went'n blogged about it. Anyway, I digress.

I was in the slow-moving check out line with my bargains neatly stacked in my carrying basket when I began to study some of the items they had on display near the registers. Then I saw it.

They sell Pregnancy Tests at the Dollar Tree!

I am just speechless. Incidentally, this is probably the same reaction of any man who's girlfriend presents him with her tests results on a +/- wand that she got for a dollar.

Things I learned this week

1. If you are Michael Phelps, you should probably puff on your bong in the privacy of your own home.

2. It's proving easier than I thought to make one new friend each month.

3. It is possible to leave a casino with more money than when you entered it. Also weighing more than when you entered.

4. You can move a large bed headboard from one residence to another residence by holding it inches off the ground from inside your car, while driving.

5. Friends can help you in more ways than you can even imagine.

6. At least 5 people I know think that I should go to Mexico (because I've never been).

7. I'm officially a Life Coach!

8. It's easy to make Hollandaise sauce.

9. If you own the telephone number 867-5309, you can sell it on eBay for half a million dollars or so.

10. When old people get a new car, they give it a name. Just like a pet or a baby.

11. If you just ask, you can get a lot of things in life.

12. Christian Bale is nuts.

I wish it was 1970

I was a kid in the 70s and for me, this was just such a happier, more legitimate time. "A simpler time" as they say. Here are a few of the main reasons why I prefer 1970 to 2009:

1. When you spent time with a friend, you didn't have to endure constant checking of email, txt messaging others, and reviewing missed calls on their Blackberry. In 1970 the person in front of you was the most important person in the conversation.

2. When you wanted to go somewhere, you rode your bike. Even if it was 3 miles. The trip was part of the fun and mystique of the event. Today 3 miles is a badge of honor we wear having driven 9 miles to the Health Club and run on a treadmill staring at a magazine or TV the entire time while having our heart rate continually monitored.

3. People wrote letters. There weren't emails, text messages, IMs and other electronic means of spewing thoughts at another person. When you had something to say to someone else in 1970, you got out an envelope, a stamp, and some paper and you put together a LETTER.

4. People said things like thank you, you're welcome, pardon me, it's a pleasure to meet you and excuse me. Not TY, YW, TTUL, LOL.

5. A fun family night entailed going to the Pizza Hut and dining in and then returning home to watch TV together. Family nights have become more rare, and the bar has been raised on what counts as the activity.

6. You were to be home before dark. Because nuttin good ever happened after dark.

7. A candy bar was a treat. A Dairy Queen was a big treat.

I miss it all.