The Real Big Give and Another Secret

OK, let me begin by saying that I am becoming disenchanted with Oprah, Inc. Her "Oprah's Big Give" show is the single biggest waste of money I've ever seen in my life. A better name could be Accidental Benevolence or Oprah's Big Misgive.

Last week each contestant was provided with $70,000 to give away to people in need. There were different criteria, but giving it all out was the overriding task. One of the contestants left $54,000 of her money on the table and the $16K she did manage to give away was spent on pet supplies that she chose to give to an animal clinic.

While there is still a lot to be learned from this show, the average viewer isn't going to get it. At best, one can hope the show spurs local chapters of "The Big Give" and regular folks pay it forward.

Final thoughts on giving: A really good friend of mine recently said that the best gives are the ones you do and no one knows. I have a list I keep of "People I helped", and this is a private list, just for me. I encourage you to start one too. It's eye-opening, it keeps giving at the top of mind, and it inspires further giving -- all on a very personal level. If making lists isn't your thing, here's a website you can check out that will definitely bring a tear to your eye ... and more importantly, your hand to your checkbook: http://www.kiva.org/.

Anyway, Oprah is no Donald Trump. And don't even get me started on how she buys and collects humans like Phil, Suze, and Ekhart (but do see the example below, it's a riot).



Part II. My Secret.

I'm no Oprah here, but I do have a secret. Oprah's Book Club "The Secret" book discusses the laws of physics in relation to casting that which you desire into the universe and making it a focal point of your life. The result is that you then draw these things into your world. This works, it really does.

There's another element of this. Here's how I stumbled onto it: A girl at my work gets everything she wants. Great hours, cool trips, a nice computer, people to leave her alone when she's bugged, etc. etc. Now this is a kid -- she's 20 something. I found myself in admiration of how she can just GET STUFF. At first I thought it was a generational thing, but it's not. The method she uses is that she JUST ASKS FOR SHIT. She doesn't bitch for it, she doesn't whine for it, and she doesn't demand it. She just asks nicely. Since learning this, I've tried it out and here is a short list of things I've received:

• My $500 "move out" fee forgiven in exchange for leaving behind some appliances that I bought over the years
• $200 off some tickets that I wanted
• Half off a hotel room because I was only gonna be there a few hours
• A free trip to Boston (work conference)
• 300 additional minutes from my cell phone company to cover a little overage mishap I had last month
• A nice discount/deal on a painting I love
• New blinds in my new apartment
• Help from a co-worker on a big project
• A day off from my boss that wasn't the best timed for the business, but she approved it anyway
• The "new customer" deal on my cable/internet/phone package instead of the "exisiting customer" deal
• Free use of a van this weekend
• Extra pickles on my cheeseburger pizza
• A refund on my passport photos (w/o receipt) and a sincere apology from the Assistant Manager of Walgreens. (These are the same photos that delayed my passport for nearly 21 weeks, unbeknownst to me.)
• The sweetest garage spot in my building from the Property Manager. (I have to pay for it, but I got the best one by asking & being nice.)

This is just a short list of meaningful items ... about 2 week's worth. There have been other smaller things here & there, but the bottom line is this: none of these things would've been offered. I asked politely and received them. While the other secret probably works too, this asking & getting stuff is AMAZING. I'll add to the list in a couple more weeks.

PS. The worst thing that can happen when you ask is the other party saying "No". This happened 1-2 times as well, but it was really no big deal.