What It Means

Several of you have asked what the title of my blog means ("Not Penny's Boat"). It's a pivotal scene from LOST where one of the main characters provides an ominous warning to the rest of the 'good guys' before he drowns. It's essentially what the current season centers on, but I just liked the name. **See the photo below for a visual of the scene that inspired the quote.

Not Penny's Boat is one of those phrases that would make a great name for a band. If I was starting a band. Which I'm not. Yet.

Other possible band names:

Forgot the Attachment
404
Angry Korean
Kittywompass
Broken Lamp
Distemper
Cold Sore
Jimmy Cracked Corn

The Real Big Give and Another Secret

OK, let me begin by saying that I am becoming disenchanted with Oprah, Inc. Her "Oprah's Big Give" show is the single biggest waste of money I've ever seen in my life. A better name could be Accidental Benevolence or Oprah's Big Misgive.

Last week each contestant was provided with $70,000 to give away to people in need. There were different criteria, but giving it all out was the overriding task. One of the contestants left $54,000 of her money on the table and the $16K she did manage to give away was spent on pet supplies that she chose to give to an animal clinic.

While there is still a lot to be learned from this show, the average viewer isn't going to get it. At best, one can hope the show spurs local chapters of "The Big Give" and regular folks pay it forward.

Final thoughts on giving: A really good friend of mine recently said that the best gives are the ones you do and no one knows. I have a list I keep of "People I helped", and this is a private list, just for me. I encourage you to start one too. It's eye-opening, it keeps giving at the top of mind, and it inspires further giving -- all on a very personal level. If making lists isn't your thing, here's a website you can check out that will definitely bring a tear to your eye ... and more importantly, your hand to your checkbook: http://www.kiva.org/.

Anyway, Oprah is no Donald Trump. And don't even get me started on how she buys and collects humans like Phil, Suze, and Ekhart (but do see the example below, it's a riot).



Part II. My Secret.

I'm no Oprah here, but I do have a secret. Oprah's Book Club "The Secret" book discusses the laws of physics in relation to casting that which you desire into the universe and making it a focal point of your life. The result is that you then draw these things into your world. This works, it really does.

There's another element of this. Here's how I stumbled onto it: A girl at my work gets everything she wants. Great hours, cool trips, a nice computer, people to leave her alone when she's bugged, etc. etc. Now this is a kid -- she's 20 something. I found myself in admiration of how she can just GET STUFF. At first I thought it was a generational thing, but it's not. The method she uses is that she JUST ASKS FOR SHIT. She doesn't bitch for it, she doesn't whine for it, and she doesn't demand it. She just asks nicely. Since learning this, I've tried it out and here is a short list of things I've received:

• My $500 "move out" fee forgiven in exchange for leaving behind some appliances that I bought over the years
• $200 off some tickets that I wanted
• Half off a hotel room because I was only gonna be there a few hours
• A free trip to Boston (work conference)
• 300 additional minutes from my cell phone company to cover a little overage mishap I had last month
• A nice discount/deal on a painting I love
• New blinds in my new apartment
• Help from a co-worker on a big project
• A day off from my boss that wasn't the best timed for the business, but she approved it anyway
• The "new customer" deal on my cable/internet/phone package instead of the "exisiting customer" deal
• Free use of a van this weekend
• Extra pickles on my cheeseburger pizza
• A refund on my passport photos (w/o receipt) and a sincere apology from the Assistant Manager of Walgreens. (These are the same photos that delayed my passport for nearly 21 weeks, unbeknownst to me.)
• The sweetest garage spot in my building from the Property Manager. (I have to pay for it, but I got the best one by asking & being nice.)

This is just a short list of meaningful items ... about 2 week's worth. There have been other smaller things here & there, but the bottom line is this: none of these things would've been offered. I asked politely and received them. While the other secret probably works too, this asking & getting stuff is AMAZING. I'll add to the list in a couple more weeks.

PS. The worst thing that can happen when you ask is the other party saying "No". This happened 1-2 times as well, but it was really no big deal.

Moving update

Welp, I got quite a bit more stuff moved this weekend. I know, I know, I can pay people to move stuff for me. But I'd rather have that money to go out & buy more stuff, so I'm doing it myself (and with the help of friends).

Here are some shots. My porch with stuff:

This box is in one of my closets. It doesn't open and I have no idea what its purpose is. This is my dining room area. The chairs are in (multi-colored on the left side) but the table hasn't yet made the trip.
This is my living room with junk. Lots more stuff to go, so this configuration might not be how it is when it's all done.
Entrance to the master bedroom. That's a pillow & blanket put there as a joke until the real thing arrives.
My bedroom from the inside. I'm going to have to have a sale to fit all my clothes into that closet! LOLThis is BR #2 aka "The Office"
More updates soon. It's time for a nap.

Movin' On Up ...

To the East Side ... to a dee-lux apartment in the sky-y!

Yep, I'm in the process of my big move. Now my previous move was at age 29 -- out of my parent's house. I've lived in the same condo since then. And I've acquired a hell of a lot of crap.

Due to the condo association gone wild, I'm moving to a nice apartment across town. For those who remember the Jeffersons...

You'll recall their apartment looked like this:

While mine isn't that mammoth, it's still very nice.

Here is the layout of the one I'm moving into. The final score is that I'm gaining one bedroom, a fireplace, a much larger kitchen, and a screened porch. I'm losing a garage and the storage that goes along with that, a cooler neighborhood, and a residents-only swimming pool. When all the dust settles of things-included, I'm at about the same $.

Here's part of my porch. I'm going to make it into a tropical paradise, just wait & see!

Here's part of the kitchen & hallway. That big green thing is the rug cleaning machine.

The fireplace

The living room

The kitchen, dining area, and doorway to the porch

Lookie what I found behind the door. A washer & dryer!

These are the unfurnished pics. Stop back soon to see some with my junk strewn out all over. ;-)

St. Pat's Day: Oh Manny Boy...

I had a pair of tickets behind the plate 5 rows from the field for the St. Pat's matchup for the Sox and the Yanks. A buddy of mine who knows very little about baseball and I went and it was a treat. The day was warm, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the fans in this section were really cool.

The Sox lost, but I am fairly sure this was a ploy to make the Yankees think they have a chance this year. Here are a few of the shots from this game:

Hideki Matsui

Cute Little Dustin Pedroia
Johnny Damon, as I live & breathe!

Jorge Posada

Some of the Yankess, admiring the Sox players as they warmed up Andy Pettitte
David Ortiz
Jeter
The Boss

Jeter gets hit by a pitch. Somebody call a nurse!
Go Sox!
I love this pic!
Yeah, that's A-Rod. Sitting in his box exactly 4 rows in front of my seat.
This game was held at Legend's Field in Tampa. It's sort of a mini-Yankee's Stadium. The food was great, the beer was cold and reasonably priced, and the restroom lines were short. Two thumbs up! Seriously, this game was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

BTW, My Hotel & Car Were Bright Yellow This Trip

I didn't make a hotel reservation, officially. I had a spot that a buddy was going to let me stay cheap, but when I checked in - people were in the room eating pizza. I laughed it off and moved on. I figured since I was checking in so late, I could just find a vacancy sign and make a deal. I got a beachfront spot for a $100 cash. Not too bad, considering the place was JIMMY BUFFETT themed!

I don't think that $100 made its way into any kind of cash register, but what do I care. And I'll be damned if I can remember the name of the place.

I got a lot of cool ideas for how I want to do my screened in porch at my new apt.

Boat Drinks.

No Smoking, Please. OK, this place had a wild layout. There was a super cozy bedroom on the main level and then there was a deck and a living room and kitchen on the upper level. And you had to take THESE stairs to get up & down. Or you could be boring and use the ones outside.

From the outside. Notice the "Mother Mother Ocean" inscribe on the side of the place.

From the other side.

This was the entry way to the 2nd deck. Kinda cool, me thinks. More hotel decor. Tacky but it works!

My rental car.

Seabass likes yellow.

Out Conducting Fun ... Part 3

After skydiving, my hands were shaking really bad. And I was HUNGRY. So I located a roadside rib joint and got me some ribs! These were some of the finer ribs I've ever had. I even splurged and got the collard greens too. It doesn't get much better.

From Zephyrhills, I headed due South to McKechnie Field in Bradenton to watch the Pittsburgh Pirates take on my beloved Red Sox. I had a great seat, and I got to see Jonathon Papelbon.

And Manny...

And the rest of the guys...

I even got to meet the Pirates Mascot!

After the game, I had to high tail it to meet up with a couple of great friends I know in the area for dinner - at an exclusive country club. That's right. Ribs in AM and dinner at the club in the PM. Not a bad day at all!

Out Conducting Fun ... Part 2

After the helicopter ride (covered in the entry below this one), it was go-time. As a first-time jumper, you are strapped to a very experienced instructor. I was looking forward to this as there were very interesting people who were instructors. People name Nigel, people who look like they should be in a Jimmy Buffett video, and even a few Aussies. Well, no such luck. I got "Bill". Bill has to be pushing 75 and he reminded me of Leslie Nielsen. But there is an upside to Bill. Bill has been jumping for over 40 years, and that's 11,000 trips out of an airplane door.

They signed us up on this board. BTW, Tony is the guy who took the rest of the pics on this page. He's a photographer/videographer. His job is to jump out of planes with a camera on his helmet and take pictures. Another day at the office for Tony.

Then we suited up, got a very brief introduction to how things work, then we were off to the plane.Once inside, I thought it was pretty cool. I love planes so this little one was a blast! We went up, up, up. 13,200 feet. They opened the door and I got a little freaked out. It was really cold and very noisy, and I had that, "What have I done here?" feeling.

Too late, me & Leslie Nielsen were at the doorway and before I knew what happened, we were ass over tea kettle and flying through the air. A friend said that this wouldn't feel like falling, but instead flying. He was right. I wanted to yell and smile, but the wind blows your mouth open really wide so I just grinned.

Everything was going great! Then all of a sudden Bill pulled the ripcord and it felt like I was being turned inside out from the feet up. This lasted a few seconds until the chute fully opened.

Then it was just a glide back on down to the ground. Piece of cake.